Saturday, October 21, 2000

FOLLOW THAT CAR

 By Jose Bello

              Years after having moved out of the city, I'd rent a car and visit family and friends, once a year or so.  But, except for Danny, my old friend and first tenor of  our doo-wop group, The Enchantones, other friends had proved hard to find.  We used to sing doo-wop around Brownsville on street corners and school yards.  Although my memories left me somewhat sad over what used to be, I felt good about still being capable of maneuvering in New York City traffic.  But I won't be driving strangers around the city anymore.  Those days are over for me.  Back then, my work day usually began between 3 and 4 p.m.  And I usually had the car back by 5 or 6 a.m. the next day.

              Working the streets as a cabbie in New York City in the sixties and seventies was a risky proposition.  But that risk was part of the equation that took in other factors and still placed its total on an acceptable, if not attractive, level to those who chose to be cabbies.   The fact that you didn't know what could happen on your next shift was part of  the attraction.  And if one lived to tell about it, I felt the stories would be worth it.  As a young man I felt confident of my odds.  

              Walking down the hill toward the garage, thoughts of earnings versus risks and hazards played a game of nerves inside me.  But by the time I'd reach the garage, those thoughts would be relegated to the nooks and crannies of my mind.  I'd had doubts and worries about all the jobs I'd had before.  My job history in my early twenties had begun to work against me.  I'd had too many jobs since graduating from high school at age seventeen.  I'd had around twenty jobs or so by the time I got my hack license, at age twenty five.  Until then I'd been forced to fabricate parts of my background by deleting, excusing, and making stuff up, in order to get hired.  So by the time I got my hack license, I gratefully dove into the work I knew I was best suited to do.  A hack license is still a requirement for driving a taxi in New York City.

               I was finally freed from lying and misrepresenting myself on applications.  I hated that.  I wanted to like who I was.  I knew I was no “goody goody” but I wasn't a hateful creep who needed to hide who I was.  The work I did prior to becoming a cabbie was nothing I've ever been ashamed of.  On the contrary, I cherish and have found those experiences helpful and useful, even today, in one way or another.  Most of the jobs I had back then did not require more than a high school education.  I did some construction work, warehouse work, factory work, laundry work.  I worked as a file clerk, mail clerk and stock clerk. 

               It was when I was hired for delivering diapers from a step-in van, all over the city, that I was able to test myself as a commercial driver, and found my calling.  I did that for about two years before acquiring my hack license.  It was that experience that gave me the confidence I needed to finally land the driving job I knew was the perfect fit at that very time.  I didn't fit in sales, although I was comfortable talking to strangers;  “good people skills” some said.   I felt I was an exceptional driver with sufficient knowledge of the city, taking passengers to their destinations within the five boroughs.  I also knew I could earn more as a cabbie than at any other job I was qualified to do. 

                I usually arrived at work between three and four in the afternoon, generally working a ten to twelve hour night shift for Star Maintenance, a taxi company in the Bronx.  It usually was a half hour or less before I was assigned a car.  It seemed a positive sign, since others had to wait longer.  I think the bosses noticed that I didn't discriminate in my work; my trip sheets had me all over the city, and I booked “good money” for them each night.  There was a kid who washed, gassed and cleaned the interiors of the nearly new 1970 Chevys specifically designed and equipped with meters that recorded mileage, time and payment per mile, and time per each trip.  It seemed quite a feat, that taxis were used for two years on the streets, before being replaced with new models. 

                It was amazing the beating those cars could take, accelerating from zero starts and gaining the necessary speeds to make as many green lights as possible, and without getting a ticket!  Coming to quick stops without screeching tires or jarring passengers. Continually stopping and going, engine running most of the time.  It was punishment, for sure.  Quick turns, and maneuvering in city traffic in all kinds of weather, twenty hours or more daily, by a variety of drivers; quite a test.  Of course, the company employed tested mechanics to keep and maintain them in good working condition, in order to protect their investment.  A car driven for a living should be trouble free.  As a driver, one should not have to worry about the myriad of things that can go wrong in a vehicle.  

                I worked briefly with another company in the Bronx, that had recently been stocked with new cars.  The garage was situated within walking distance from home (a fifth floor walk-up apartment).    Star Maintenance was too far to walk to.  So, I figured I'd try this other company.  And on the very first afternoon I took out one of their 'new' cars, it veered right when I applied the brake.  So I took the car back to the garage and was assigned another car.  A day or two went by and I was issued a car whose brake pedal went nearly to the floor when pressed.  On yet another night, the brakes on my assigned car were soft.  That was enough for me.  I was back at my old company, happy to travel across town for a safer experience.  It needn't be a major problem, but a series of small ones; costing a driver money in time lost is inexcusable.  It's a fast paced business where time lost will add up to larger losses. 

               When I worked making deliveries for a diaper service,  I once experienced an accident on my way to the first delivery of the day.  A driver decided to make a left turn, by crossing from the right lane, across my path, as we reached the intersection.  Having no alternative, I hit the brake, as I slammed into the side of his car.  At thirty miles an hour, his car suffered damage, my truck suffered very little.  Mind you, he swung without signaling, from the right lane into my lane as we reached the intersection,  As we came out to assess the damage, the guy looked at me and actually asked: “Didn't you see me?”  I lost about an hour before I was able to begin my deliveries. 

                Normally I'd have finished work by 6 p.m.  Yet it wasn't until around 9 p.m. that I made my last delivery that night.  All kinds of changes in traffic take place at different times during the day or night that contribute to changes in the time it takes traveling through city streets.  And ease or difficulty of deliveries may be affected by day or night.  Access to some entrances may differ, as well as parking access and regulations.  Many streets in NYC have alternate side of the street parking regulations.  Differing criminal activity between night and day may alter conditions in some neighborhoods, especially where safety concerns may be an issue.  An innocent driver can become prey,   School and train crossings may cause delays day or night.  A shift letting out workers from a large firm may obstruct traffic. 

               I got back on my old “routine” as if one could claim a routine, cruising Fordham Road.  Business was good.  Over to Bainbridge, down to the Cross Bronx Expressway, still rolling full, over to Westchester and down to the Parkchester houses.  Dropped off a passenger on Arthur Avenue and ran another to Jerome Avenue.  It was near 8 p.m. and I was still in the Bronx; a good time to head into Manhattan.  I worked my way down Broadway and across the park, dropping off my elegant passenger at a canopied address on the east side.  I got a passenger right there, for an address downtown near Macy's. 

               I was having a cool, smooth night!  I turned west, intent on picking up a passenger at Lincoln Center or one of the fancy cafes nearby.  It was a good bet I would find someone going east.  These short back and forth rides multiplied my tips for me and bookings for the company.  That was my simple method.  It worked most of the time.  After a show emptied out at Lincoln Center I'd usually find someone heading to the east side, where I would drop them off into the hands of a uniformed doorman waiting at the curb, under a canopy and welcoming them home to their luxurious apartment.

             “Man. Now if things went right I'd pick up a ride...” I was thinking, when instead, in the middle of the long block westward, one of New York's uniformed “finest” was running up to my front passenger door, right hand held high, an intense look of urgency on his face.  I leaned over, unlocking the front door.  I stopped and he jumped in panting and pointing ahead,  “Follow that car!” just like in those old movies I'd seen as a child.  I pictured one of those old movie stars, like Spencer Tracy or somebody like that, in an old DeSoto cab:  “Yes sir!” the cabbie would say to the cop and peel out after those “bad guys!” Now, here I was:  “That Cabbie!”   

                We headed west, a few cars ahead of the “bad guys.”  They didn't notice us.  The cop placed his cap on his lap, took out a handkerchief, sat low in the seat and wiped his brow, nearly hidden by the meter.  I could only imagine his humiliation and frustration at having gotten close enough to nab those guys, only to have them spin away, smoking tires in his face, in their getaway car!  I hit the gas pedal.  Many yellow cabs floated midtown cruising for passengers.  I didn't know about “other yellows” but I wasn't going to pass up a chance to help catch those “perps” racing down New York City streets, law on My side!  Nightly alarms rang in this neighborhood of mostly rich department stores and factories. A wealth of merchandise everywhere.   

                We focused on the “bad guys” speeding ahead.  I kept my distance.  He assumed rightly that they hadn't seen him get into my cab.  They made a right onto Columbus Avenue.  I rushed around the corner stopping abruptly in the left lane.  Ahead and a couple of lanes over, their car stood motionless, pinned in on all sides in New York City traffic.  At that point, replacing his cap, the officer gave me a quick “Thanks” and rushed out, his right hand unsnapping his holster and pulling out his thirty-eight caliber revolver, as he went (yes, they were still using those, back then).  He reached the rear of the bad guys' car and I heard him yell for them to “get out of the car!” as he pointed his gun at them.  The light changed and I could see the three men, hands high in the air, getting out of the car.  I felt pretty good about myself, as I turned left continuing west again in search of my next “real” customer.

                                                                        * * *

 

Read also free pages of the author's life story:  "Marine Tigers: A NewyoRican Story" at Amazon.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

Saturday, August 26, 2000

A CONVERSATION WITH MR. PAIN

                                                          By Jose Bello  




Voice of: Ed Chano: - Hello! And welcome to another edition of  “Dialogue: Need To Know.” I am your host  -  Ed Chano. 


- (Program theme music plays, then subsides and plays lowly, in the background)


And this week we'll be talking with “Mr. Pain.”  As you know, and just in case you don't, he is and has been, the only man in charge of all things concerning pain.  Yes, you heard right.  Hurt and pain are his “game”.  We've been receiving letters from you, the viewers.  And we've been listening and doing our research in anticipation of the “Pain” man's visit.             


We've gathered your main concerns and I'll be putting those questions to Mr. Pain right here, on “Dialogue: Need To Know.”   


“Dialogue: Need To Know”  is a contemporary program that brings interesting people in the news to the foreground of criticism, speculation and all matter of questions by our audience, in a quest to get answers from those whom we all find... well, questionable! 


We dig deep, searching for answers to questions the public wants and demands answers to.  We don't assume anything about our guests.  We invite them here to our studios, where we use the latest technology available to satisfy your “Need to Know.”           


We have with us today, Mr. Pain, well known to us all, as the reason many of us will delay or even cancel dental or doctor's visits.  He has agreed to answer any and all questions we have for him.  Many of our questions are sent in by viewers.  So, sit back and enjoy the show.  I am your host and  sometime arbitrator, sometime mediator, your conduit between our guest and our audience, Ed Chano.   


- Camera pans back, revealing studio personnel wearing ear phones and carrying clip boards, hastily moving about, dodging video and sound equipment, stepping over snaking electrical wires along the way, as the theme music's volume increases and partial credits roll, while in the foreground, Mr. Pain enters, led by a young lady in  jeans, who sets down her clip board on a lamp table near one of the chairs and begins attaching a small microphone to Mr. Pain's lapel.


The show's musical theme fades into commercial messages.  At the end of which, theme music plays, momentarily, then fades out, as camera pans back, revealing Ed Chano seated at one of two comfortable living room chairs facing another upon which Mr. Pain sits; the program's musical theme fades.  And Ed Chano's head shot appears, as he looks gravely into the camera and speaks:  


 - Voice of Ed Chano: -  Mr. Pain, welcome to Center Stage Studios.  As you can see, we've prepared this space to keep you, me, our team and everyone here safe, during our conversation.  Thank you for being here and sharing with us information about the delicate work you perform; that of administering pain.  I want to explain to our audience, that one major reason for our inquiry today – with all respect to you sir, –   is to bring clarity to the decision making process of your work.  Many people have expressed a need to know why pain is administered in those cases when there appears to be no need to do so.                                   


Mr. Pain: - Well, Mr. Chano, thank you for welcoming me to your studios.  It is a relaxing atmosphere and I'm happy to have accepted your invitation.  I've been looking forward to shedding  light on my work.  I'm aware that appearances can be misleading, often leading to inaccurate conclusions.

           

Ed Chano: - I'm a believer in clarity, Mr. Pain.  And we're glad you've come to help us with that today.  As a democratic people, we feel the need to call into question things affecting us.  Some situations demand answers, such as your motivation in some cases.  This is why we invited you here.  And we hope you will clarify these issues and help us to understand the way you arrive at some decisions that appear pain is being inflicted casually or possibly, needlessly.  We welcome your input.  


          Mr. Pain: - Allow me to enlighten you, by way of an example:  A policeman interrogating a suspect may be forced to ask some very personal, even “painful” questions, one might say.  And the suspect being questioned might appear guilty in one's assessment of his or her answers.  Yet, when all the facts are in, that suspect may be found to be innocent.  Would you say that the “painful” questioning would have proved necessary, Mr. Chano?


          Ed Chano - Is it my understanding then, that you have no feeling for the pain you inflict?  That seems a cold assessment on your part, Mr. Pain.


          Mr. Pain: - Well, I must admit that it does, sir.  Yet cold or not, was the desired result accomplished?  And was the method used to arrive at that outcome not worth the desired result? 


          Ed Chano – Well, I suppose the method used was justifiable in your example.  But you must admit that it is a cold way to arrive at a “desired result” in other cases.  I would hope that, in dispensing physical pain, that a degree of compassion well beyond that of the empathy raised at a mere questioning, may be applied. You are working with human beings.  Applying physical pain, sir! To which human beings are susceptible... and...it....Hurts.  To which some have been moved to say it's... torturous, sir.   


          Mr. Pain: - Please Ed, let me say that I entirely agree. My situation is different from those of my example in some ways.  However, certain parts in the framework of my example show the validity and purpose in applying some degree of pain.  My example even shows that a relatively small amount of pain, innocently applied, may render a positive result.  I believe my work can be seen in a favorable light, if only human emotion is placed aside and not allowed to interfere with the procedure.                                           


          Ed Chano: - I'm intrigued.  Please continue.  


          Mr. Pain: - While some situations may lead to speculation over the pain administered or as to my motives, the question I might ask would be:  “who better to make these judgments than I, who has been doing the work for as long as I have?”  There is no one with the expertise and experience that comes only with time; especially the amount of time and labor I have invested for the betterment of humanity, painful, though torturous as it may seem.  For without my contributions, humanity would have suffered losses unimaginable.  Human beings need to feel pain.  It tells them when something needs fixing.  It makes them arrive at decisions they otherwise could not.  It awakens the need to act in times of severe urgency.  It allows a human being to see beyond needs and wants.  It allows priority changes to come into clear view and actions never before considered, to be taken. And these pieces of a life I've come to know and affect at intervals in the lives of humans in crisis, are like no other.  My understanding and ability to act in accordance with the knowledge I've earned, gives me and only me, the ability and right to do my work.      


          Ed Chano: -  How long have you been doing your work, sir?  And how did you come to be “Mr. Pain”?  


          Mr. Pain: - Well, actually, long ago, so long ago, I am not able to give you an exact date.  


          Ed Chano: - Were you appointed, selected by some committee, or other entity?  An authority, that  makes choices or directs you in your work?  And if so, who would that be and what are your duties to that person or entity; and might there be discrepancies existing between you and others exerting influence in your work? 


          Mr. Pain: - Now Ed, - May I call you Ed? 


          Ed Chano: -   (Nods 'yes' and smiles reassuringly).  Yes, he utters.


          Mr. Pain: -  I realize you're anxious to get to the crux of the matter.  I know your audience wants answers and I assure you, they will get them.  I will answer these questions in the course of what I am about to reveal. 


          Ed Chano: -  As to a job description, including responsibilities and authorization in the use of the powerful tools of your work?  What if anything, can we assume is “off the table” so to speak? Or are ALL decisions left to you, sir?  These are certainly loaded questions. I'm sure you'll agree.  Yet, these and others like them are the ones we need answered.


           I'm sure you're aware that there has been a growing disquietude among the citizenry and it concerns your work and whether or not some restraints may be applied for the sake of a more humane approach on your part.  I'm sure you know that the general public, despite or because they are not privy to how you carry out your work, have raised suspicions in the absence of clarity.   


          Of course we are all curious about your work.  And that is actually a compliment to you and your accomplishments.  Of course this curiosity about you and your work also raises much excitement among us all.  From the moment you accepted our invitation to appear here on “Need to Know” we've all been very excited. We get so many letters.  Many are not complimentary, expressing suspicions about your work, your personal motivation and even your integrity.  I guess it's to be expected.             


         Your power is great, sir, and as well you know, capable of consequences that can alter lifetimes.  If there is anything you may want to add to ease our worries and concerns, we welcome you to please do so.                       


          Mr. Pain: -  Let me offer a part of my process, for all to consider.  Often in the process of

reaching the point of pain needed for a successful outcome, a human witnessing my work may react negatively to the patient's reaction.  Therein, I believe, lies the controversy.  Sadly, too often the reaction of the subject to the pain is something mortals don't have the capacity to understand.  Emotions may drive a human being to make misguided judgments.  Thus, suspicions may arise about my work, regardless of tools, methodology, motivations or purpose.  I have learned and conditioned myself over time, not to allow emotions to control or dictate my actions.  In a perfect world human beings would understand this as what allows me to remain successful in my work.  If I am to continue to do my work at its best and with the degree of success I've been able to achieve thus far, the future will continue to be successful and fruitful for all of humankind.  


          No. There is no authority exerting influence or oversight over my “duties,” decisions, or any aspect of my work.  I am a free agent, free of any outside constraints. You may say I'm self employed, sir.  I cannot look upon my work as any other.  My duty is to myself and, if you believe in a theological entity, such as “God,” for instance:  NO.  I have never been ordered, suggested or advised by any such entity.  I have no job description, as each of my assignments are unique.  And I will add that no human being, no matter how talented, skilled or learned he or she may be, is capable of fully understanding what I do.  And most certainly, there is, to my knowledge, no human capable, skilled or knowledgeable in what I do, to carry out the critical work I perform daily. 


          That having been said, let me express my gratitude for your open show of respect for me and my “work.”  I am also appreciative of the diversity of your audience, as they are representative of larger America, and the world beyond.  I'm sure this audience will have no trouble understanding what I've said: The validity and importance of my work, justification for certain aspects of the work and decisions I have to make under conditions difficult for any mortal.  And I hope that all suspicions will have been answered to everyone's satisfaction by the end of our discourse.


          My own assessment of the current situation as I understand it, had until this moment, placed us here as adversaries.  On one hand we had a populace brought to the point of action towards me, granted not a physical action, yet one not void of hostility.  On the other hand, from my point of view, left unchecked, such a situation could become a catalyst for an unknown turn of events; one that could end badly for all concerned.  The discontent surrounding my work, my motives, and so on, as you can now see, are actually logical and necessary procedures that stand up to the scrutiny.  I hope I have answered all questions to your satisfaction.                                                           


           Suspicions about my work, my tools and all such matters where human lives are concerned, are extremely important in my work.  However, their use in treating a life suffering, teetering on the possibility of death, are issues of grave importance to me and, as they apply to my work.  They are matters of importance to all of us.  And the public has every right to question these things.  Pain is the critical factor here.  I do well appreciate this fact, since it is at the core of what I do and how I carry out this pressing day to day responsibility.  I well understand that this is the basis for your concern.  But this concern does not lie only with you, but with me as well.  It has always been so.  For I've always been the only one.  There has been no other. And there may never be another.                                 


         My power is well known.  It is unique and it is absolute.  It is life changing.  But I am an honorable being, whose only purpose, when whittled down to its essence, is to the continuance of the human race.  From the time humans are born, to the time they grow old and die, I am a friend; present at all occasions.  I take on many duties along the way.  Heartaches, hardships, shame, wounds, all pain is in my realm.  My delivery of pain may be swift, prolonged, sharp or dull, long lasting, short lived.  Or rationed over time proportionately to its purpose.  A purpose known only to me.


          Your inquiry into higher or other sources by which direction or purpose of my work may be directed, guided, counseled or otherwise premeditated, planned, reasoned or decided is valid and not to be disrespected.  Yet, it can only be best answered by a simple “No”.  There is no other involvement in the things I do.  For I am solely responsible.  I answer to no one person or thing.  Where, how, why or any such questions,  never have and never will be answerable.  Yes, my work may appear lonely.  Yet to me it is simply what I do.  It gives me great pride and satisfaction, as it is essential to all.  Lonely work, to be sure for mortals.  It is at once pitiful yet proud.  For its purpose is, in its end, fruitful, true.  Yes, loving, as well, since one of its many purposes is to awaken certain emotions and clarify others.  The awful wrenching of pain, inflicted in all its mercy and purpose, that only I can administer in its many forms, is a necessary endeavor and a blessing to the religious among you.

                                                                              *

 

Read also free pages of the author's life story: "Marine Tigers: A NewyoRican Story" at Amazon.com


Thursday, June 22, 2000

DAYTIME WOES FOR A NIGHTTIME CABBIE

By Jose Bello

            It was the sixties in New York City and I was living in the Bronx;  a proud New Yorker, something I would carry as essential baggage.  I still, on occasion, find myself defending critics of “my city” as though I'd signed some allegiance.  Star Maintenance, the garage I worked out of, was located around the corner from Yankee Stadium, on 151st Street.  My hack license was wrinkle free when I started working the night shift driving a medallion, “Yellow” taxi throughout New York City.  I was in my twenties, and my marriage was less than ideal.  It was a great outlet; a getaway from my teetering life.  

             I dreaded the evening rush hour, avoiding midtown Manhattan like a rat avoids open “Johnny pumps” (hydrants) in summer, preferring instead the residential areas of the Bronx and upper Manhattan.  I'd work these outlying areas, making my way in the general direction of midtown, biding time until heavy traffic was traded for the risk of dangerous passengers.  Newspapers carried stories of holdups, beatings, killings, now and then.  Although most didn't make the front pages, these occurrences were enough to prompt individual police officers to moonlight. They earned extra income, while taking dangerous thugs off the streets; a risky business.  

             Looking down at his roster, the dispatcher spoke into the P.A. system's microphone in his baritone voice:  “There's a little wait on number 314.  But there's other cars comin' in any time now.”  His words echoed and lingered in the small smoky office and the cavernous garage.  “Thanks.” I said and sat on a wooden bench adorned with the names of drivers' friends and girlfriends carved into it along with hearts and other markings and gouges.  A short time later I got my car.  I made a habit of trying the lights, brakes and listening for weird noises.  I checked to see that the back seat was clean and nothing had been left behind.  The cleaners always did a good job.  I checked the car for big dents, or metal sticking out, that might catch onto someone's clothing. I checked the meter reading to see that it coincided with my trip sheet and I was ready to go.

             The job offered a paycheck based on a driver's meter readings; the tips were the icing on the cake, until the government decided to stick their fingers in that cake, too;  It was still “good money” though, in those days.  And every day was different from the next, as I greeted interesting and often troubled people. It was ideal work for a curious twenty something young man, eager to work at something he was good at.  With a sense of adventure and a fascination for city life, I followed my curiosity into the work.  Though not the safest way to make a living, it was respectful work offering medical benefits, life insurance, paid vacation and sick leave.  Membership in the AFL- CIO Union was further inducement.  Of course, for me it was about the freedom it offered; I was my own boss in the taxi. 


********************************

              It may sound crazy now, thinking back on it.  Yet, what occurred on the city streets in midtown Manhattan nightly, seemed as a choreographed dance, privy to commercial traffic, yet hidden to the novice.  Horn blowing, hand waving, blinking of lights, even swearing, played a role in the daily phenomena. So went the dance of the box trucks, step-in vans, limos, yellow taxis, car services and a few others who'd caught on.  Most of us adhered to the unspoken rules:  It's OK to cut in, as long as you leave enough space for the cut vehicle to continue safely, getting out of the way quickly and  without hitting anything.  That was the main rule.  The other guy might get pissed, blowing his horn or cursing, “flipping the bird” or something similar.  But, actually fighting over a simple and efficient cut wasn't the norm.  A lot of that stuff was a “macho” show.            

            The city's a different place today.  And as America periodically welcomes its latest influx of immigrants, many choose, as newcomers before them, to drive a taxi as a source of income.  Training is relatively short and the pay is good.  Although, as of late, “Yellow” cabs have had their medallions devalued, due to competition from Uber, Lyft and others. I can, however, tell you that when I was a cabbie, driving a taxi, while profitable, it was a dangerous occupation.  The daily newspapers frequently ran stories of cabbies being beaten, robbed, shot, killed.  I pushed those thoughts aside, though I often wondered what some of the people I picked up might have been thinking.  

            I enjoyed driving a taxi. I liked sampling different parts of the city and the variety of people I encountered.  I sometimes worked “off the meter” outside “safe” areas, such as midtown, when I felt the need.  By manipulating the flag on the meter, the light atop the car appeared to be out, falsely indicating I had no passenger; this was for the benefit of police or inspectors.  I only did this until I was able to work my way back to safer ground, making up for lost time and money, while away from a busier Manhattan at peak time.  I did this while working risky neighborhoods, ingratiating myself to potentially hostile passengers, by letting them direct the trip.  Otherwise, I mostly worked legitimately, with the meter running.  On those lesser occasions, I'd ask my passenger if it was “OK for me to make it for myself?” The answer was always “yes”.  I also asked for their directions in order to place them in charge of the trip, which led to our mutual satisfaction and customer comfort. 

             They always preferred giving directions, rather than risk a “scenic route” ride at higher cost.  Although I believe this “scenic” scenario to be an item from a previous era.  It's unwise and unsafe, if you intend to make money, while avoiding nightly “ass whippings!”  It seems stupid to me, since  ending one ride, collecting payment, tip and moving on to the next passenger always earns money.  I'd heard this “scenic” story a long time ago. I guess it originated from the old days. I mention it only to clear the air.  I've never known a cab driver to do such a thing.  

              While I had my share of problematic passengers, most were friendly, leaving as satisfied customers.  I found most people in neighborhoods outside of Manhattan's favorite and mostly tourist haunts, to be good tippers, for the most part, often mentioning their appreciation for my service and how often yellow cabs had passed them by with their “Off Duty” signs on, rushing back to Manhattan.  Residents in those outlying areas were generally unhappy with our service.  There had been incidents of yellow cabs set afire, their drivers beaten, held up at knife or gunpoint in some of the rougher neighborhoods.

               The old Yankee Stadium had a tall white brick wall rounding its entrance and a large sidewalk extending from the ticket booth to the curb.  I'd never been inside, nor had I cared to.  I've  never been a sports fan.  I drove up the hill past it to Jerome Avenue, where I hoped to catch a ride inside the borough; a short trip.  The elevated subway tracks above the street provided a broken view of the sun's glare, as it shown intermittently, between slat and sun, slat, sun, slat, sun, slat, sun, until a train roared above, relieving the assault on eyes, with its overshadow.

              A short distance ahead, a woman raised her hand, hailing my taxi.  I pulled up with my back passenger door conveniently positioned along the open space between two parked cars where she stood.  She opened the door, picked up a shopping bag in front of her and got into the back seat, a large pocketbook dangled from her shoulder.  “Where to, ma'am?” I asked, while filling out my trip sheet.  She answered:  “I'm going over to 178th Street and Broadway.  The Medical Center there?” She asked, wondering, due to my youth, if I knew the route.  I replied, “Yeah.” And we headed for the Cross Bronx Expressway.

             Although the distance wasn't great, the fact that it was in Manhattan didn't please me. I didn't want to go downtown yet and there was a good chance I might get someone wanting to go downtown into the dreaded afternoon traffic I'd hoped to avoid, once I'd drop her off.                       

             That afternoon in front of the Columbia University and its Medical Center Buildings, a scattering of workers, students and visitors awaited rides, some near the curb at the bus stop.  Among them, an elderly woman carrying a nearly empty shopping bag and a pocketbook, hanging from her shoulder, stepped off the curb, hailing my taxi.  I stopped the car, aligning the rear door in front of her.  She opened it and slid onto the back seat. I held my pencil ready to fill in my trip sheet on the clip board beside me.  She said: “Good afternoon, young man.”  “Good afternoon,” I answered. “I'm going to a store around  96th Street on Broadway.” She continued:  “I'll let you know where to stop when we get there.”  “Thanks” I answered, thinking, that was about as close to midtown as I cared to go, thinking I'd head back to the Bronx as soon as I could, after that.

               Broadway had a raised, narrow park separating downtown traffic from uptown traffic.  Grass and small bushes adorned paved walkways along its center.  Benches, for people to relax, converse or read a newspaper, were sporadically arranged.  Nannies with baby carriages and retirees mostly occupied benches, while winos and junkies found room to hide in plain sight.  A warm sun shined over the Hudson; evening still time away.  I slowed nearing 97th Street.  Shoppers crowded the sidewalks, rushing last minute errands, crossing mid-block, ignoring jay-walking laws.  Slower, older pedestrians  crossed at the corners.  “You can stop right here young man,” my passenger informed me. I pulled in behind a double parked box truck whose driver returned a hand truck onto its box.  I let the lady out, as the truck merged into a moderate downtown flow.  I still had no desire to work the area, knowing the volatility of movement possible in that time and place. I would head uptown, first chance I'd get.

               I was filling information in on my trip sheet, when suddenly the rear doors were yanked open and four teens crowded into the back seat.  A fifth, larger youth, wearing a jaunty hat and sunglasses, flopped onto the front seat.  Then leaning in, uncomfortably close to me, said:  “Brooklyn!” In my haste to be out of midtown and into more relaxed territory, not only had I neglected to lock the doors, I hadn't turned on my “off duty” sign atop the taxi, required by law, when taking time off.  So I couldn't say: “Oh, I was just gettin' ready to take a break. Sorry, chums.” Several thoughts jammed my head, vying for attention, first and foremost among them:  I really don't want to go anywhere with these jokers! Brooklyn?! - In Rush Hour?!  And, isn't it illegal for this guy to sit in the front seat? - Also, where exactly in Brooklyn were they going?  And, finally, is there a legal way out of this?!  -  The answer was no.

              Just then, another guy stood at the edge of the sidewalk holding the back door open and, bringing his body in, launched a punch squarely into the face of the totally unaware victim at that end.  Time froze momentarily, as the assailant impulsively gushed into laughter, then took off running up Broadway.  The back seat promptly vacated, as the teens spilled onto street and  sidewalk, in pursuit of their daring nemesis, jostling his way up the crowded sidewalk, on his way uptown.  The teen in the front seat, turned to me angrily, as though the turn of events had been my fault, commanding: “Wait here!”  And running off after his cronies up Broadway.  

             Yeah, like I was going to stick around.  I pushed down on the gas pedal, Bam- Bam- Bam- three doors slammed.  I came to a snappy stop at the corner of 96th; the crossing crowd reflecting on my bright yellow hood. Neither I nor the swarm of pedestrians acknowledging one another.  A welcomed sight, away from the menacing situation I'd just been released from.  Pedestrians and drivers rarely looking one at the other; a New York thing. I stared out ahead of them, playing the game.  And as the green light gave way to the yellow for the crossing traffic, I began allowing the cab to roll, creeping forward at the first opening, making my right turn and rushing west of Broadway and making another right on West End Avenue, heading uptown in search of my next passenger.          
                  

********************************

                  Working the streets in the sixties and seventies was a risky proposition.  But, that danger was part of the equation.  The fact that you didn't know what could happen on your shift could be part of the attraction to the job.  And if you could live to tell about it, what stories you would have to tell.



Read also free pages of the author's life story: "Marine Tigers: A NewyoRican Story" at Amazon.com

Friday, May 5, 2000

UNEQUIVOCAL LOVE

By Jose Bello

A dog sits at home staring up at the front door, for a long moment. Then, ever so slowly, he shifts his head slightly to the left and holds for several seconds, his left ear lifting, as though listening. Then, just as slowly he rises on all fours, his tail swaying left, then right. He gives out a low moan, and then howls. He opens his mouth as though yawning; a squeal leaks out. Then he lowers his hind quarters and sits again, head tilting left and right again, as though listening. Abruptly he's up on all fours and paces quickly left to right in anticipation. His body quivers, as he settles back down again. Suddenly he's up on all fours again, tail wagging violently left, right, left, right, body stiffening. He barks and hops, barks and hops, barks and hops. He begins pacing left to right again. He squeals, stops, waits, head shifting left, right; barks once, twice, ears go up; head tilts left, right, ears come down. He pants, tongue out, salivates, moans and stops. There's a clicking at the lock. He stiffens, barks, hops up, goes left, goes right, squealing, jumping. He barks loudly, once, twice, waits. Door opens – Master's Home!!!  HAPPY – HAPPY – HAPPY~~



Read also free pages of the author's life story:  "Marine Tigers: A NewyoRican Story" at Amazon.com




Saturday, April 22, 2000

SPIRIT CAT


By Jose Bello

             My parent's retirement to Puerto Rico had finally worked out for Paco and Tula after returning from years of chasing the “American Dream” in New York City.  As so many Americans, they were fast reaching retirement age with finances not reflective of those they'd imagined in earlier times.  It was upon this realization, that they decided to use all they'd learned piloting their family through the cold, hard, though memory-filled years, as we assimilated into an American life.  They would commit to one final, concentrated effort, they believed would produce a comfortable and lasting existence in Puerto Rico, completing the circle of their lives. 


              Levittown was then a new housing community on the island, with sections still being built.  It seemed an ideal place for their revival in retirement.  They envisioned a life among people like those they'd known growing up on the island, as well as an emerging variation of ex-New Yorkers then returning mostly under similar circumstances.   A warmer climate, a feeling of home and, in their case, the possibility of Paco acquiring his own barber shop : All excellent reasons to seal their retirement plans on the island.  Their marriage was settling into a comfort zone of sorts, helping them, despite their meager income, to keep faith in hopes of a bright future.  


             Their challenges provided the goals that motivated them daily.  And when Paco finally named all six winners in the daily horse races he had played for so many years, he felt justified in his persistence, perseverance, and loyalty to his hobby.  Winning justified his faith in himself and in a God he knew all along was OK with gambling; contrary to what his church advocated.  He reasoned that if the church could gamble, why couldn't he?  This ongoing conflict, one he kept from the church, was a bothersome source of guilt Paco felt was unjustified, but couldn't shake. 


              He felt he didn't have a choice.  What other way could he ever hope to one day acquire the kind of money that could help them to achieve their retirement goals; no matter how slim the hope?  And it seemed that no amount of church going could dispel these feelings that haunted him.  But, this all changed on the day he won.  He felt proud, happy and as a man renewed! His great interest in conditions affecting the outcome of the races, things like track conditions, jockeys, their nuances, weather and such, were things he studied over his lifetime.  His long awaited success had finally arrived!  They now were able to afford to buy the house they'd been renting since their arrival.  And by the time Paco, some years later, was diagnosed with dementia, Tula fell into his care, with the appropriate adjustments.  Change was not only something she embraced, but something she had mastered.


              There was a cat that took to coming by their home. And each time the cat would stop by, Paco would feed him.  Consequently, a bond was formed between them.  Tula was not so taken by the cat.  Soon their sunny Island dwelling, a short walk from the blue waters of the Caribbean, was shared with the visiting cat.  Just to put things in perspective, I remember when we lived in New York City and my father complained in frustration at the “little freeloaders who contributed nothing, while invading the tenements,” in reference to the rats and roaches who “insisted on living in the tenements among the tenants.”  In their new home in Puerto Rico, it was a very different story.  And my sister Carmen and her family lived close by.   


               We agreed it was a good thing to see our parents, whose marriage had previously been marked by bickering and arguing, now settled into a fertile family life despite the fact that the cat was pampered by Paco and tolerated by Tula.  I think that bit of a wedge provided one of a number of small challenges that helped bring them closer together.  Paco had continued attending the small Evangelical church in Levittown, until he was placed in the hospital.  His Pastor continued visiting Paco at the hospital, sitting and praying at Paco's bed side, as the machine keeping him alive did its job.  Although Tula shied from committing to the church as Paco had, she was cordial with the Pastor, while resisting his efforts in acquiring her membership to the congregation.  She wasn't one to commit to organizations and such. She worshiped in her own way, by attending masses and studying church readings on her own.                    


             Paco's dress habits had begun to slowly change from the time his dementia had begun. His many years of neat and prim began a slow unraveling.  Strict adherence to white starched shirts and accompanying suits and ties from Monday to Friday, gave way to colorful short sleeved shirts, leisure slacks and even shorts.  Tula was there overseeing these changes, ever watchful and ensuring he didn't carry those changes into eccentricities.  Some changes previously unnoticed began to show; such as his child-like love of animals; staring after a butterfly in renewed wonder, worrying after the visiting cat's whereabouts and safety when he was away from their house; a prime reason for pleading Tula's acceptance of the cat as their pet.  My parents were well known in the neighborhood and wanted to be sure the cat was not already a member of a family.  And it was through neighbors, that they learned that the cat had been abandoned by a family who'd relocated to the mainland.


             When Paco made his case to Tula, she reluctantly agreed, though not before attaching rules concerning the cat's care and feeding, as this was a main concern for her.  We thought for sure it wouldn't last when Paco allowed the cat to solicit food by jumping onto the kitchen table; something so very contrary to Paco's nature before his illness.  He never would have accepted such behavior from an animal in the past. Tula would eventually warm up to the cat.  But the cat and his care was a small matter, as Paco's dementia progressed.  He got into the habit of wandering the area and one day he didn't show up for lunch and Tula began to worry, sending word around in trying to locate Paco.  It wasn't until late that afternoon that someone spotted him having coffee and conversing in the patio of a family living in an adjoining housing complex that no one of us, nor any of the neighbors knew.   My brother, Paquito, went to pick him up and bring him home.  The people there were nice and understanding of Paco's situation and admitted to Paquito their suspicions of his condition, as they'd conversed with Paco.  Paquito apologized for any inconvenience Paco may have caused them.  They in turn were adamant Paco had not been of any burden and that, in fact, they hoped he and Paquito would visit again in the near future.  


             While everything had turned out well and new friends had been made, everyone agreed there was need for him to be watched more carefully, as the outcome of this experience could have been radically different; an accident for instance or a variety of other outcomes could have been possible.  Paco remained the gentle and kind man he'd always been, that never changed.  Tula dealt with her usual daily chores; taking care of the bills and other mundane responsibilities which took up much of her time.  And with this potentially dangerous occurrence, she thought it prudent to put out the word to friends and neighbors to keep an eye on Paco if they saw him wandering off  near the outer parameters of Levittown.  She also took on some of the care and feeding of the cat.  As for her shopping and errands, she got help from my sister, Carmen, our brother, Paquito and on occasion, Carmen's husband.  She took care of doctor's appointments for Paco and herself, as well.   When they needed a ride, Paquito, my older brother, could be counted on.  He lived with my parents during some of this time.
  


             Tula had allowed the cat a sleeping space, curling up at Paco's feet, nestled among his covers.  Never would I have believed such a bending of my mother's rules, prior to Paco's illness.  While he'd always loved animals, Paco had, in the past drawn limitations to the closeness of animals, always believing a definite space between human beings and animals, domesticated or not, was necessary.  Paco had been raised on a farm; goats, chickens and other animals ever present, a fact he was very proud of.  As a barber, the importance he placed on cleanliness had manifested, before his illness, in his meticulous manner of dress.  He only used high quality scissors, straight razors and other tools he sanitized before each use.  His electric hair cutters  were subjected to similar standards and levels of cleanliness.  He placed cleanliness, respect for one another, education and setting goals, as things he considered essential for a good life.  
                                   
              About four years after Paco, Tula and the cat had settled into their retirement, we received a phone call from my mother urging us to travel to Puerto Rico because Paco's health had taken a turn and he'd been admitted to the hospital in Catano and attached to a life support unit.  My wife, Patty and I were living in Virginia at the time we got the notice.  Tula said I might want to come to Puerto Rico and be with my father in his last stage of life and, possibly, to say a last goodbye as well.


             We prepared for the trip. While I didn't look forward to seeing my father so close to death, I wanted to be with him in his last moments, if only to say my last goodbye. It was at a dinner Tula had fixed on the second day of our arrival and after our visit to Paco at the hospital, that we learned that the cat, so prominent in their lives, had been missing for some months prior to our arrival.  We hadn't thought much, if at all about the cat.  Our thoughts, concerns and conversation centered around Paco's health and care.  Although, we learned that the cat had been missing for months.  Tula did not show signs of missing the cat, though his absence was conspicuous indeed.  The fact that his bowl and plate were washed and put away, though not thrown away, I took as signs of her care of the cat and hope for his return.  And Carmen had noticed that there was still a full, yet to be opened, can of the cat's food near the bowl and plate.  Tula seemed to be coping with the obvious emptiness very well  and was grateful for her daughter's help, support and her new family's availability in her time of need. 


             My mother, as always, was in acceptance of the larger hand of God she and Paco always believed was to be credited in all results.  She was proud of her husband, and though she'd not said so in the past, she now readily did so.  I believe she was satisfied that, while she'd not always been happy with all the things that made him the man she'd long ago fallen in love with and married, she was happy with the man she'd ended with.  The fact that Paco helped Tula to soften and accept a pet into their lives, shows a degree of influence and love they had learned to share in the end; one that overcame obstacles.   
                
             I've always felt that cats harbor a mysterious air about them; it may be due to their association with witches and other “cryptic”  characters and events, fictional or not.  But regardless of these supposed influences, I can't deny feeling that this particular cat had influenced my parents' lives. And now that some time has passed, it seems to me that facts placed squarely in place with events that otherwise defy reasonable accounting, may be more easily answerable.  I can't dismiss what I know and have observed about this particular feline and the mystery surrounding his association with our family.  Having known little or nothing about cats before, I don't purport to know a whole lot more now.  But, I feel I've been further educated on the subject if only for what I experienced at my father's burial.  I have to admit that I too now see cats in a mysterious light.  I also now see how much more there is to cats and why so many before me have been drawn to them.  


                                                           
                      
             Although my view of the day Paco was buried is somewhat blurred by the overall sadness and grief present at the event, I can however, remember observing the activities of the grounds keepers and attendees of the burial, as my perspective begins to clear.  I recognized some as neighbors, friends of Paco, acquaintances and fellow church members who'd come to be a part of Paco's last day. It was a time for them to come together and show their respect for Paco.  Warm sunshine filtered through the leaves of the trees that grew among the graves in the small cemetery.  I remember watching the congregation of  his church in procession, walking behind pall bearers moving toward the site of Paco's final resting place.  A small group of, maybe twenty or so, of those who were able to attend;  regular working folk, neighbors, friends, acquaintances wanting to show respect for a fellow member of their church; some lagged behind the congregation from the church, wanting to remain separate, on their own.
                 
              They walked, praying hands ahead or clasped to the hand of someone beside them.  Together toward the open grave they walked.  The pastor led a ceremonial reading, as the small crowd formed around him. Most words were lost to me either by my mind's wondering or the Pastor's dramatic inflections making the words harder to understand; or  was it the distance  I'd placed before us?  It was then I remembered something my father had said to me as a boy. My  mother was showing me how to iron a pair of pants I needed to wear, when my father joined us and said: “We won't be here with you forever, you know.  You need to learn these things we teach you, now while we're here for you to learn them.” 
  
              I stood gratefully in the shade of a tree, as a warm breeze caused colorful plants and flowers to sway gently; the congregation listened to the Pastor's reading.  And I was suddenly distracted as I spotted the figure of a cat perched on a pile of freshly shoveled soil beside Paco's open grave. Looking more carefully then, I recognized the small figure looking straight ahead at the pall bearers, as the long lost cat belonging to my parents! The pall bearers neared the site, carrying the casquet containing Paco's remains. I was sure it was Paco's cat! I quickly turned around, looking for Paquito to tell him what I'd just seen! but by the time I turned again, the figure was gone.  It wasn't until the congregation was moving away from the site, that the figure reappeared again near the mound, as I was headed out of the cemetery.  I whispered to Paquito, a few steps ahead of me, then: “That was Paco's  Cat!”  I whispered.  We both stopped abruptly turning to face the cat at Paco's grave.  People leaving were forced to maneuver around us.  We stood fixated on the cat, unable or unwilling to move, watching the cat.  Then suddenly he glided from mound to monument, stealthily past everyone, until he was finally, out of sight.   


                                                            AFTERTHOUGHT                  




x

                   I have come to believe that Paco's altered view of life in his dementia, was a blessing that God bestowed upon him in order for him to experience an innocent peace in his final days.  I was unprepared, however, for the stone like presence of whose artificially warmed hand I held during my last visit with him at the hospital.  I feel sure Paco missed his prized pet, companion and friend in his last days.  Paco will be missed and, yes, I believe they will meet again.  


                                                               THE  END  



Read also free pages of the author's life story: "Marine Tigers: A NewyoRican Story" at Amazon.com  

PACO HITS THE HORSES

                                                                                    By Jose Bello
                            My family and I came to live in New York City in 1948 on a ship called the Marine Tiger.  As Puerto Rican American citizens, we came to the mainland in search of the prosperity so many others sought in the states at that time.  My dad was raised on a farm in Puerto Rico, a fact that he has always been very proud of.  A father of five, we didn’t see much of him during the work week and that included Saturdays.  So Sunday was the day his guitar or “Cuatro” came out.  I am the youngest of his sons.  Our sister was the last to be born, having the distinction of being born in New York City.  By the mid-sixties, my family had gone back to the island to restart their lives.  I chose to stay behind and pursue a future with a girl I had been dating for nearly two years.  I spent most of my time with her and her family.  During my family’s last year in the Bronx, I was nineteen years old and spent very little time with them.  My father had gone ahead and my mother, brother and sister were hyped about their move to Puerto Rico.  I have two other brothers, the elders, and they’d moved on, remaining in the states with their families years prior.   One was a retired Army Sergeant living in Kentucky, outside of Fort Knox.  The other lived with his wife and five children in Pennsylvania. 
                            Papi, as we called my father, was Paco to those outside our family.  Downtown Manhattan at the barber shop where he worked with Italian-American barbers, he was called “Frank.”  He’d left ahead of the family to set up a household in advance of the family’s arrival and landed a job managing a barber shop in “El Condado,” a tourist section of San Juan.  Paco rented a house in the newly constructed, middle income community of Levittown, minutes along the beach from Catano.  Levittown was a popular destination for those returning to Puerto Rico from New York City.  Its name was familiar to ex-New Yorkers who associated it with Levittown, Long Island.  The fact that prices there were more accommodating of a barber’s salary appealed to retirees and others watching their expenditures.  He’d begun building his clientele at the shop, among a trendy string of pricey shops and businesses.  It stood a short distance past the capitol from Old San Juan’s plaza, where buses were dispatched toward Loiza and Santurce.  As a young man, he honed his trade, growing a clientele and making friends in a barber shop down one of the narrow streets from the plaza.  He relished the opportunity of visiting with those who might still be around.  A few miles in the other direction from the shop, past the cock fighting stadium and the LLoren Torres Public Housing project, stood the San Juan International Airport.  
                  Many Puerto Ricans returning from the mainland had either managed to raise the money to retire or their dreams had been obliterated by prejudice, corruption, crime and stress they’d encountered on the mainland.  Our family had sampled the down side of that equation. Each morning since they’d settIed in Levittown, they awoke to the sounds of exotic birds and a colorful rooster in the distance; a much welcomed change from the constant noise of the big city.  Paco had finally fled that cold, colorless place.  No more smells of urine in dark corners and subway stations. No more menacing addicts, alcoholics or aggressive beggars.  Alleluia!  A warm breeze swept over him as he exited the publico, to sit at a bench and await “La lancha”:  The ferry that would take him across the bay to San Juan.  Such was his daily ritual since he’d started work only days after his arrival in Puerto Rico.  The publico stopped to pick him up near the back of the house he’d rented in Levittown.  Publicos worked picking up passengers along established routes.  Sometimes they were hired temporarily as chauffeurs.    It was something after five in the morning when Paco was picked up near the back of the house.  Just blocks away, three booted construction workers with helmets, jammed in next to Paco, who was wearing his usual attire, a suit, starched white shirt and tie.  
                  “Ola’ Don Paco” came the gruff voice of one of the workers.  He was one of Paco’s customers.  Paco had clipped his hair in a barber’s chair he’d placed in the “marquesina” (carport) of his home, accommodating neighborhood customers.  The laborer was on his way to work in nearby Catano.  They conversed, as the car turned up toward the beach, stopping at the “Pare” on the corner.  A stout tanned woman carrying a shopping bag, from which a pair of smart, black, short heeled pumps protruded, opened the front door and sat.  Across the main road, a crab silently walked his sideway slant across white sands, resisting the foamy surf washing over him.  The publico made a tight right and sped up the road.  A short distance away the Bacardi plant could be seen, with its main building lit by flood lamps and a red light blinking at its peak. Just minutes later the car turned left onto the parking area reserved for publicos, near the terminal from where the ferry would carry Paco across the bay.  The construction workers crossed the street, disappearing into a dimly lit street.  A dog began barking as they approached.
                  Over the warm water in the near distance, the ferry was making its appearance and Paco could make out the few bodies standing at the front railing of the ferry in anticipation of its landing.  It was the smaller of two ferries that made the daily run to and from Catano and San Juan.  Upon boarding, he retrieved his glasses from his suit jacket.  He pulled a racing form from his shirt pocket, and studied the horses participating in the day's race. Then he picked his presumed winners for the day’s race, as the boat bobbed softly over calm waters.  The noisy engines roared and smoke trailed back, dissipating in the morning mist.  The ship’s engine pitched higher, as though a clutch had been applied and gears silently merged.  It paused momentarily, shifting slightly left, before finally straightening and floating silently into its harbor; a few impatient passengers jumped from the ship’s bordering ledge onto  land as it touched parallel land on one side.  Others lumbered toward the front exit and off the ship.  
           Most passengers, as Paco, leaned forward into the sloping cobblestone street leading to the plaza, where buses traveling to Loiza, and parts of Santurce awaited.  Other passengers coming off the ferry walked to streets connecting to the plaza to jobs at banks, hotels and shops in the surrounding area.  The sun could not yet be seen in the sky, as a small group from the ferry dispersed to find their bus of choice.  Paco found his and stepped up, pausing to drop his change into the slot atop the box. Paco and the driver exchanged greetings:  “Buenos dias” said Paco, the driver answering in kind.  Once away from the plaza, the bus gained speed along the avenue, a glimmering ocean and white beach below appeared.  Visible in the disappearing night, details sculpted into the capitol’s marble came into sight.  The bus raced past the poor and cluttered infamous cliffside community of “La Perla.” Paco noticed two young women in light conversation sitting on the bench seat near the driver.  They inspired thoughts of his life in Old San Juan as a young barber, free of familial responsibility and never lacking the company of young ladies, such as these.  
                  Until he’d met my mother, he hadn’t thought seriously about marriage.  She was from an upper middle income family whose ideal suitor for their daughter was not a barber.  Tula was delicately slim at a time when heavier, more statuesque women were featured in current fashion magazines and art.  By those standards, Tula would not have been mistaken for a model; pictures of her taken at the time, show her as the smiling, fun loving, though thin, young woman that attracted my father.  She played piano to accompany silent films at local theatres.  Her long fingers skimmed across the board, resisting, then applying the appropriate tone, moving the audience from sadness to joy, as she plied her musical influence upon a voiceless film.   Paco pushed these thoughts away, reminding himself of his financially lagging condition.  With his age nearing retirement, the very least he needed was a plan.  Surely, though financially insecure, Paco’s life had been coming together nicely since their return to Puerto Rico.  He wondered how he’d deal with a non-existent retirement plan.  He let his mind wonder while staring out onto the blue green waters of the Caribbean glittering in the morning light.  The bus raced past on its way to the high end Condado neighborhood.  Minutes later he stood unlocking the shop’s door.  The sun’s brilliant embrace surrounded the area around back of the shop.  Pastel colored houses, plants in varying shades of green and brightly colored flowers all absorbed the sun’s life giving light.
                  Around the corner the ‘land lady’ of the “Paloma Verde” guest house was taking in the paper from the steps just outside its ornate iron gate.  She unlocked the padlock, removing the lock itself.  Reaching beside the last step she picked up a small cinder block and placed it in front of the gate keeping it from closing.  At the end of the street, among the gently swaying palms, an early rising fruit juice vendor pushed his heavily supplied cart through the sand.  He was bent so low, the front of his shirt nearly dipped into the sand.  The wide brim of his straw hat hid his face from the sun. His sandals caught and struggled through the warm sand lest another vendor steal his valued spot, which could mean dollars lost by day’s end.  Out on the blue waters there were several swimmers already in the water.  An ambitious older couple was already toweling off from their salty swim.  Their elderly bodies glimmered in the early morning sun; retirees who revealed themselves as they spoke in learned Spanish, wishing the vendor: “Bueno dayas, sinyor”.  The vendor managed a forced smile, answering, “Muchas gracias y buen dia a ustedes.”  And lowering his gaze, resumed his trek, landing on the coveted spot where he would remain, serving thirsty sun bathers and swimmers until the sun would complete an arch over his cart.
                   Paco Junior, whom we call Paquito, was Paco’s third son.  The two elder sons, Ralph and Louie lived with their families back in the states.  The oldest was a retired Army sergeant, the other a retired technical illustrator.  I was a cab driver in New York City.  The only female sibling was Carmen, the youngest and only one born on the mainland in New York City and at the time, approaching the birth of her tenth child.  She was simultaneously in the process of attaining an accreditation for the title of “teacher.”  Paco and Tula had done an admirable job of raising their children.  Suffice to say, their hard work and sacrifice had paid off.  Their children grew into the good, hard working, thoughtful, adults they’d intended.  But, to say that Paco was at this late date in his life, dissatisfied with his finances, would be less than modest.  Not only did he not have the savings required for a life without continual employment, he had no savings to cover current expenses or any unforeseen expenses that might occur without his job at the shop.  He hadn’t yet fully recovered from the losses suffered in his failed attempts at owning a home back in Brooklyn.  While he felt the stress of his situation, he also believed God would eventually offer an answer.  His faith in God gave him relief in believing that God would not give him anything to deal with beyond his abilities.  This was how he’d managed to get through other difficult times in his life; confident that God would provide an answer.
                         He’d been raised a Catholic, abiding by the church’s stringent regulations as closely as he could manage for all of his life.  However, he’d become disillusioned by changes invoked by Vatican II, in the nineteen sixties.  As a result of those changes, he’d become disillusioned with the Catholic church and could no longer follow its doctrine.  Ultimately he made a decision to abandon Catholicism and begin searching for a new religion.  Upon his return to Puerto Rico, he found an evangelical group in Levittown whose pastor had gathered a congregation of some of Paco’s neighbors.  In this new church he found comfort and a feeling of belonging in sharing their beliefs.   And while neither his old, nor his new church, endorsed gambling, Paco simply accepted that he would quietly agree to disagree with the church, as, in his view, most church goers do regarding rules that challenge even the strictest believers.  His reasoning was not necessarily flawed, since his feeling was that since the Catholic and other churches saw it convenient to use lotteries and bingo in acquiring funds for their church, why should their members be condemned for gambling in a similar manner?


                   This analysis freed him from what he considered an unfair rule.  He would often buy Puerto Rican Lottery tickets on the island, sometimes winning a small prize.  Although, he found he had better luck with his off-track betting of the daily horse races, since this was a subject he was well versed in.  He’d come close to winning larger prizes by using the knowledge he’d gained studying races, jockeys, weather and other conditions affecting the outcome of the races.  He wasn’t an average fan.  He was a fan with more knowledge than most, to make a reasonable assessment as to who could win the race.  Of course, there were many factors open to the public, and others that aren’t. Paco felt he was the exception to the rule.  Making the right guess at which horses would win six out of six races would be a difficult challenge for anyone, no matter how well studied one might be.  But Paco relied on his faith and his beliefs and wouldn't even consider ever quitting.
                   At times he’d stop in and place a bet at “La Hipica” (the off track betting establishment) at the strip mall near his home in Levittown.  When at work, he used “La Hipica” near the shop.  It was rare for him to go to the track; that would take a special occasion.  He’d actually managed to win five out of six races at least once before.  This difficult feat gave him the confidence to keep trying and although calling all six winners of all six races had eluded him thus far, he was determined to continue trying.  It wasn’t like winning the lottery with a series of random numbers.  He considered that winning at the lottery would be pure luck; just a feeling.  But with horse racing, he could assess all the factors included in each event in order to reach a logical conclusion as to his best choices to win.  
                   Each day in Paco’s life fell into a predictable pattern, meticulously working his trade on the heads of his clientele, while chatting with them; coffee, lunch, reading the newspaper between clients, studying the daily race forms and picking his horses.  He felt he had an advantage in his exposure to a variety of ideas, points of view, opinions and knowledge of his customers. Some clients had worked with horses, others studied the races and jockeys as he did; still others had won prizes.  He conducted his own research into racing in his own way.   Paco was a good listener, assessing all of the varying ideas and information he gleaned from everyone, as he was a life student of his surroundings.  
                  On most days he closed the shop around six or seven P.M., unless a special client was a little late, in which case he placed a “closed” sign on the door and shut the blinds, discouraging others.  He wanted to get home on time for dinner or by the latest eight P.M. Paco wanted no static from his wife, Tula, who was not pleased about inconsistencies in his schedule; an attitude that persisted over the years, due to jealousies real or suspected in Paco’s past.  When they were young and Paco worked at the barber shop in Old San Juan, Tula had made more than one scene, accusing Paco of indiscretions with young women she’d seen him talking to.  She’d interpreted some of these incidents as flirting, and more in others.  It had been a point of contention during the early part of their relationship, although they somehow had worked past all that, old ill feelings of the heart have afterlives.  And in their case, afterlives simmered silently, even causing temporary separations on more than one occasion.  Any questionable conditions arising from a smile, a touch of a hand in an otherwise presumed innocent gesture, might otherwise be misconstrued and suddenly shine a glaring light on old suspicions.                              
                     Paco’s life with Tula had grown into a delicate balance over the years. Their life experience had mellowed their passion with age.  It seemed as though their wisdom was reshaping their priorities.   Their desire to live a peaceful existence seemed to temper Tula’s suspicions, while causing Paco to try harder at pleasing her.  Clashes of disharmony lessened over time, as Paco approached retirement.  Still, a client might come in at the last minute and cause Paco to delay his trip home, and to take a later bus, which in turn made him miss the earlier ferry; a sequence of events that could cost him an hour’s delay or more.  But Paco avoided such situations once he’d bought a family car, in spite of the fact that Paco had never learned to drive.  His son, my brother, Paquito, would pick Paco up at the barber shop.  After standing, circling the barber’s chair and often having to lift children into their special seating throughout the day, Paco was grateful to leave the shop.  And with Paquito waiting to chauffeur him to Levittwon at the end of his day, he was more than ready to leave the shop and enter the waiting car and be driven directly home.  Often, I'd tag along with Paquito and accompany them.  On such occasions, we'd stop along the side of the beach and have a snack of fried chicken innards and a shot of rum and maybe a beer at one of the kiosks by the side of the ocean. 
                    In his heart, Paco was a family man.  He had suffered a hernia on each side of his torso in the course of his career as a barber, when he lived in New York City.  And by his early sixties he’d wisely relegated controversies such as questions of his loyalty to his wife, to  his past, where they belonged.  Tula was coming around to the new truth, although perhaps a bit grudgingly.  Her suspicions were now presented more as humorous afterthoughts, rather than outright accusations.  This proved to make their conversation increasingly positive.   It also brought them closer to one another.  Their joint efforts brought their relationship, and therefore, their marriage, to a happier, peaceful place.  It was a comforting relief for us as a family.  But, other differing ideas concerning expenditures would not be avoided.  Although in this, Paco had thought ahead, having long ago considered the potential for trouble his long awaited win could bring.  Paco had worked out bills and other financial priorities without discussion with Tula.  How much money he would admit to winning and plans he worked on, on his own in advance of perhaps winning in an attempt to ensure his priority list of expenses might be followed.  Part of his plan anticipated inclusion by Tula.  But, he’d also taken into account that no matter what amount he claimed to have won, Tula would assume the winnings were actually more. He would stick to his plan. 
                       And it was in this more placid environment that Paco one day came to be rewarded. He finally managed to name each winner in all of the six races marked on his racing form.  Slowly as one swallowing an overflowing spoonful of a favorite dessert, Paco’s eyes froze on the sight of his list of winners over and over again, in a slowly growing, warming thought that was gaining volume in his head:  “GANASTES, CHICO!” - “ YOU WON, CHICO!” – His mind’s voice repeated “GANASTES! – Has Ganado, Por Fin, has Ganado, Chico!”  “Finally, you've Won, Chico!”
                     He glowed with happiness, and it was all he could do to hold his excitement until he could reach home and tell Tula.   He closed the barber shop early, leaving one of the other barbers to lock up for him.  Tula could not hold back a loud yet short laugh, as Paco finished his statement:  “Gane! Gane, las carreras!”  “ I won”  “I won the races!” She was pleasantly surprised when he came home early, carrying her favorite lechosa sweets usually reserved for holidays.  He paid a visit across the street to his daughter Carmen’s house, leaving some sweets for the children and secretly giving Carmen an envelope containing a modest amount of money.  He made Carmen promise not to reveal the amount to anyone, a promise she honored.  With tears welling in her eyes, she thanked her father.
                      While Paco continued making his daily picks and filling out the daily racing forms, he no longer questioned if it was worth playing the game.  The small amounts he’d invested over the years had finally paid off!  Yes, it was a fair portion of a year's salary, give or take some, or maybe better; Paco wouldn't disclose an exact amount, even to us.
                                                                AFTERTHOUGHT
                    You could count this story as one of the rare times in life when everything comes together.  Or you can be a pessimist and know that there will be other negative events that could potentially ruin everything.  But either way, this STORY is true and worth contemplating; how sometimes fate or maybe faith, can alter one's life.  Sure, Paco's winnings didn’t take Paco to incredible heights financially or otherwise.  But, his winnings sure went a long way to making his and Tula’s life easier as they entered the last part of their lives.  Of course their lives would not be void of negativity.  “That’s life” as the saying goes.  None of our lives will ever be perfect.  But, show me a perfect life and I’ll show you some bullshit.  Yeah, Paco years later would eventually develop Alzheimer’s disease and didn’t recognize me on my last visit with him and my mother, Tula.  Occasional bickering and disagreements between family members and financial woes will never cease.  It's all predictable and expected:  It's Life and life is a balance; a delicate dance, or sometimes a storm with intermittent pauses of joy and pleasure and others of tears and woe.  Enjoy.


Read also free pages of the author's life story: "Marine Tigers: A NewyoRican Story" at Amazon.com